


And So Justice Wept

by jensening



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Ann and Makoto have the feelings, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Sad times, Spoiler warning for Persona 5, contains spoilers, makoto is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jensening/pseuds/jensening
Summary: **Spoilers for Persona 5 up to and following the Casino Palace, when your flashbacks catch up to real time**When Makoto thinks about who her sister was and is, and all she can do is cry. But Ann is there; Ann knows. They've both seen the darkest parts of the people they love, and they both can't help but take comfort in each other.





	And So Justice Wept

**Author's Note:**

> Yo so I wanted to run the whole 'I just saw the darkest parts of my sister and, surprise, surprise, it upset me' angle, since Makoto doesn't really get the opportunity to talk about it the second Sae's palace is over. So I've wrote her grieving, somewhat. 
> 
> It's fluffy and sad and I am proud of it, so please enjoy!

_Sae…_

The first thing Makoto had done when she was alone with the Metaverse app, and when the reality of what the Metaverse was, hit her, was to check whether her sister had a Palace.

She had not known how to react when it had been positive.

At first, she didn’t believe it, the very thought made her angry. Her sister? A woman who had raised her, who had an amazing drive and an honourable sense of justice?  It felt impossible, for a moment, as Makoto was suddenly overcome with the painful reminders of who Sae was, or had been.

The anger had melted away all too quickly, and then she’d been sad. Her sister, a woman who had raised her, a woman who had taken on too much too soon, who had had her hero ripped from her life with no reasoning other than his sense of justice.

Sadness then warped to despair, and she had cried. Her sister? A woman who had raised her, and had done so with a growing sense of vengeance for her father, and a thriving desire for justice.

Her sister – the woman who had raised her – who forgot that justice was vengeance, and who fell so deeply into her own anger, that vengeance could not be sated by justice alone.

Her sister… the woman who had raised herself. Who had made her own future. Who had forgotten that justice was not vengeance and that vengeance was not justice, and that she was not alone in the world.

Her sister… who had forgotten she had a sister.

Makoto had wished she didn’t check for her Palace. For a while. She had sat in her room and cried about it, finding it all too hard to stop when she thought about what their dad would think of them now.

She gave herself the day, and then she’d dusted herself off.

After the fall of Kaneshiro’s palace, they’d let her stay on the Phantom Thieves. Brilliant, Makoto had thought, all she’d need to do now was work up the courage to tell them her sister’s heart was distorted, and that Makoto wanted to save her from herself.

But when the Phantom Thieves had trouble picking their next target, Makoto did not mention Sae. She had spent so long trying to swallow the news that her sister’s heart had been corrupted, it was impossible to bring it back up again – not without choking.

And then, months later, Akechi had shown up with an offer. It was if he had been gift-wrapped, just for Makoto. Just for her. She liked to think, sometimes, that somebody was on her side. That someone saw her, liked her, outside of her grades.

And so Akechi had saved her, and now they were saving Sae.

But it was still too hard, too difficult, to walk through her sister’s cognition, and see what she really thought about everyone. About her work. About justice.

A cognition of Makoto was not there. She did not try to analyse why.

When they were getting close to the Treasure, however, Makoto felt herself burning up. Could she really do this? She had wondered, many times, after she had eaten dinner in an uncomfortable interaction with her sister. She may have a distorted heart, but how far down the rabbit hole did Sae’s cognitions go? Makoto was confident she would be better than the other Palaces she had seen, or heard about; this was, despite everything, her sister. A Niijima. She was the proud daughter of a detective who had lost his life because he followed his convictions to the end.

That man, the one Sae had grown up with, and who had inspired her to go into prosecution in the first place, had to still be in there; telling her that what she was doing was wrong.

But then Makoto had seen Sae and her shadow in their nakedness, raw and wild, and she had not been able to stand it.

_Sae…_

When Makoto thinks about her shadow, she shivers in disgust – for Sae, for her father, for herself. To think something as conceptual as justice had broken so many real hearts.

After the Phantoms pulled off their counter-attack on Akechi, Makoto decided to take a few days to herself. She still went when the Thieves called her, she always would, and she did so with a brave face and iron armour. And then she came home and she cried, shed of all energy and all willingness to protect herself from that which had already bit her.

She’d thought she was dealing well.

But now all of her fellow Student Council members have failed to turn up to the meeting at school, and Makoto is alone.

The thought is what sets her off.

 _Alone…_ she thinks, _I am alone._

It hits her harder than she was expecting. She has the Phantom Thieves, her sister, and thanks to her heart to hearts with Akira, she has goals. And yet none of it makes her feel any less alone.

When she thinks of Sae’s shadow – and, it’s all she can think about – she can’t help but feel as if it is somehow her fault. Sae often got mad at her… was that not an indicator, if any?

Makoto, tears running down her face, swipes her palms clumsily across her cheeks, and then rests her head in her hands. She always been a quiet crier – the walls in their house were not thick, and she had never wanted to bother Sae with her crying. She believes Sae had heard her, sometimes, because at breakfast she would stare at Makoto for an awful long time, and then she would sigh.

Makoto does not bother reacting when the door opens. She’s too late to play it away, and she’s contained it all for too long. She doesn’t look up to see who it is, either. If it’s a Thief, they’ll stay, maybe try and talk with her… if it’s a council member, they will shut the door and walk the other way.

The arm that loops around her lower back is small, but incredibly firm. It pulls Makoto close to them, and they feel so warm, and suddenly Makoto wants to look up to see who has bothered to care for her –

And it is Ann, and Makoto is happy.

She rotates in the blonde’s arms and lets herself indulge in the hug; snuggling into the warm of human contact. Ann does not say anything, not yet, and Makoto is thankful.

“I’m sorry…” Makoto says, sniffling. “It’s not a big deal.”

And it is now that Ann talks, as if she had to be given permission first.

“Of course it is.” She replies, her voice soft and low and so comforting. Makoto feels herself relaxing into her immediately. “it’s got you crying like this. Even if this was about your confliction with pineapple on pizza, it’ll always matter to me.”

Makoto chucks out a laugh, grabbing a fistful of Ann’s jacket.

Ann is such a beautiful person. So light and cheerful, she brightens the room up wherever she goes. And she’s so well intentioned that even when her words are harsh they hold the kindest ideals. She knows how to make you – Makoto at least – smile, and she never expects anything. She is truly here to make those she loves proud. Makoto can respect that. All she ever wants to do in her life is make her father proud of her.

“Pineapple does not belong on pizza.” Makoto sniffs, and she feels Ann laugh, the soft vibrations of it tickling up to her ear.

“I thought we said we’d agree to disagree on this sensitive topic. Doesn’t matter.” Makoto feels Ann pulling away and she almost wants to beg her not to, not to, please don’t – but then Ann is brushing the hair from Makoto’s face, and smiling at her so gently Makoto doesn’t know whether to cry or kiss her. “I… want you to know I’m here for you, Makoto. I’ve got you.”

Makoto closes her eyes and lets the words wash over her. “I know.” She says, so softly. And then, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Ann’s voice is so quiet. Makoto can feel the calm of it right in her bones. She thinks, for a moment, that Ann is incredibly eloquent sometimes. It’s a warming thought.

“I shouldn’t still be crying over this. I’m pathetic.”

“No, you’re not.” Ann says, too immediately, and then blushes. “Seeing the inside of someone you love like that… their very deepest parts, the dark parts that even they are afraid to acknowledge… I can’t imagine what it’s like, Makoto, but I was there when we fought her. I saw the look on your face. We all heard the way you called out to her.

But… your sister loves you, Makoto. Your father, too. She loves you so much she strove for justice, and, sure, that drive became obsessive. But all of it stemmed from a good place, even if it ended up in the shade.”

Makoto says nothing. It was traumatising, seeing all of her fears materialised in her sister. Even when it was right in front of her she didn’t want to believe it; she tried reasoning with Sae. But humans always see what they want to see. Makoto doesn’t want to be like that – it would only lead to the same blindness as those with distorted hearts. She sniffs and feels the tears falling from her eyes, and so tenderly Ann reaches a hand out and cups her cheek, wiping away her tears with the most delicate touch of her thumb.

Makoto stares into her large blue eyes, and she doesn’t want to leave. “How did you know I was crying about my sister?” Makoto asks, and Ann, with a sad smile on her face, gently shakes her head.

“If I saw someone I loved so much like that… well, I’d be crying too.” Makoto knows Ann is talking about Shiho. She’d already seen her like that. She watched her jump off a building and try to kill herself.

“I’m sorry.” Makoto says again, as if Ann hadn’t told her not to apologise. “I – I know it was hard for you, with Shiho. I can’t imagine how you felt.”

“Yes, you can.” Ann says. She shuffles closer to Makoto, and takes her hands. “You might be the only Phantom Thief who truly can.” Ann looks down at their hands and entwines their fingers, and then turns Makoto’s hands palm up, tracing the lines on her skin gently. “Besides,” Ann continues, “I wasn’t talking about Shiho.”

Their eyes meet, and Makoto feels as if the breath has just been knocked from her. “Ann…” she says. Her tears have stopped falling.

“I… care about you a lot, Makoto.” She says, eyes on their hands. “I don’t want you to be in pain.”

“Ann…” Makoto says again, for lack of anything better. She squeezes Ann’s hands and pulls her closer, resting her forehead against Ann’s and sighing.

Ann’s voice is a whisper now, soft and quiet and so unlike herself. She sounds so unsure, but so utterly calming. “Are you okay?” she asks. “I want to do whatever I can to help.”

Makoto breathes in deeply. She smells how clean and flowery Ann smells, can taste it on her tongue. She hasn’t felt so loved, so comfortable, in an awful long time. But Ann has that way about her… that she genuinely cares for Makoto is not only inexplicably warming, but also frightening. Makoto does not want to let her down. She is so unfamiliar with the tenderness of their friendship.

But, then again, she is also unfamiliar with how desperately she wants to kiss Ann.

Unfamiliar may be the wrong word… her and Ann, they spend a lot of time together. A lot. And they’d only gotten closer, their legs often tangled messes on the sofa instead of separate. Makoto often wonders if she is imagining it – does Ann truly look at her that way? Truly like her the way she thinks she does? The way Makoto’s heart yearns for, the way Makoto feels for Ann?

When Ann is around, any doubts she has, any problems, and worries, all melt away. Ann is solid and firm and strong, and soft and gentle, and she looks at Makoto more delicately than she can ever remember anyone looking at her. She is so grateful to have someone who can so instantly calm her… all she ever wants to do is look out for her, the way Ann does.

Makoto is not blind. She may have doubts, but she sees the way Ann looks at her, when they’re alone. It’s no secret. Their feelings are…open, and acknowledged, but never talked about. It’s never felt like there’s a reason to say it aloud. They know. Makoto knows. But... suddenly she is unsure, burning, and the only thing she can do is grab hopelessly in the dark.

“Ann… I just…” Makoto takes a deep breath out through her nose. “I care about you so much…” she whispers, as if it were dirty. She feels the tears start to fall again – it has been an emotional day for her, and she can’t help it. Her heart is bursting with love and sadness. “You know I do, don’t you?”

Ann is suddenly shifting herself closer to Makoto, letting go of her hands but enveloping her in a warm hug, her hands tangled in Makoto’s hair. She shushes Makoto quietly, and strokes her head. “I know, baby girl. It’s okay. I know.”

Makoto melts at the words, relaxing all too completely into Ann’s embrace. She feels Ann’s lips against her forehead and she closes her eyes, a sigh escaping her. “Good.” She mumbles, lips against Ann’s neck. She feels Ann shift against her and all too abruptly Makoto pulls herself from the hug, but not from Ann.

“I’ve never wanted to kiss you so badly.” Makoto whispers, eyes glancing between Ann’s own. She’s blushing.

Ann stares back, for a moment, and suddenly her eyes are closed and she’s taking a slow breath out. “Oh,” she says, her words nothing but a tremble. “oh…”

They’d never kissed. It’s always hanging there, between them, but they’d never done it. Ann had, of course, kissed someone before, but Makoto had never – always too busy trying to impress Sae, always too busy studying. But she stares at Ann’s rose lips now, and she has never felt such humming throughout her body, as if Ann’s lips were a drug.

She’s feels so calm, but her voice is still shaking. “Can I…?” she says, her voice so quiet even Makoto struggles to hear herself.

Ann is leaning forward, slowly and subconsciously, and blinks her eyes open. “Makoto…” she whispers. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You’ve been – you were crying, and I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

But Makoto lets her hands cup Ann’s face, a thumb swiping gently across her bottom lip, and then they move down and rest at her smooth neck. Ann’s eyes slide close and her mouth parts. “You’re not.” Makoto says, and she means it. “I’m just – you’re just –“ Makoto exhales shakily, her thumbs sliding across Ann’s sharp jawline. “I’m so crazy about you… and you’re so wonderful.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” Ann says, and pushes past how soft Makoto’s touch is to look her in the eyes. “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t.” Makoto says, so sure. Her strong fingers rub the back of Ann’s neck, and Ann can’t help the noise that escapes the back of her throat, or the way her eyes flutter.

“Okay.” Ann says finally. Makoto feels the heat settle in her stomach; she examines every detail on Ann’s face – her bright, tired eyes, her soft pink lips, her strong nose. She can’t help but think that she is so beautiful, how did she get so beautiful, and then she’s hovering closer until their noses are touching.

“You won’t.” Makoto says again, and then she kisses her tenderly. Ann pulls her closer and Makoto settles on her lap, letting her hands wrap themselves in blonde locks. Ann is slow and gentle with her, wrapping her arms securely around Makoto’s waist and she lifts her head up to kiss Makoto better. Makoto tilts her head and tries to kiss her not like she knows how, but like she knows Ann; she hopes that in her tenderness, she can show Ann just how deeply she feels for her.

Her problems are suddenly gone – but Ann had always managed to achieve that. She feels how Ann’s lips move against her own, how Makoto breathes into her just that little bit and lets herself fall deeper into the kiss. She loves how Ann takes a fistful of Makoto’s shirt and then bites gently at Makoto’s bottom lip, and Makoto’s never heard the moan she makes before, but Ann does not seem to mind. Ann kisses her gently, gently, gently, and lets her hands trace circles on her back and, God, Makoto is so in love with her.

Ann pulls away first and lets her forehead rest against Makoto’s, who cannot find the will to open her eyes.

“Was that okay?” Ann whispers, her hands still soft against Makoto’s back.

Makoto exhales shakily and shifts on Ann’s legs. “God, yes.” She says. “I want to kiss you for the rest of my life.”

Ann laughs but it is small; Makoto can feel how she shakes. She untangles a hand from Ann’s hair, and lets it settle gently on Ann’s warm chest, just above her heart. It’s beating so slowly, Makoto could fall asleep to it.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for months.” Ann replies, when her laughter is finished. “It never felt like it was right.”

“And now?”

“And now,” Ann continues, “I’m not sure how I will stop.” She slides her nose against Makoto’s and smiles. “Even if you don’t like pineapple on pizza.”

“Well, we can just agree to disagree.” Makoto says, and then she’s moving in close again, letting herself kiss her.

Sae would be fine now.

And so would Makoto.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't proof read so feel free to point out any mistakes I've made (I wrote it quite late in the night so there are bound to be some) and, if you liked it, I'd really appreciate a comment! I love reading them.
> 
> ...Also, my headcannon is 100% that Ann loves pineapple on pizza and Makoto thinks it is disgusting. That is definitely true. yep.


End file.
